The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata

 

BOOK: The Wall of Winnipeg and Me

AUTHOR: Mariana Zapata

TYPE: Standalone

GENRE: Contemporary Romance

POV: First Person - Vanessa

PAGE COUNT: 673 (Kindle Edition)

PUBLICATION DATE: Feb 28, 2016

DATE READ: Jan 26, 2021

*(Subject to change)*

4.31

Vanessa Mazur - 26

Aiden Graves - 30

Vanessa Mazur knows she's doing the right thing. She shouldn't feel bad for quitting. Being an assistant/housekeeper/fairy godmother to the top defensive end in the National Football Organization was always supposed to be temporary. She has plans and none of them include washing extra-large underwear longer than necessary.

But when Aiden Graves shows up at her door wanting her to come back, she's beyond shocked.

For two years, the man known as The Wall of Winnipeg couldn't find it in him to tell her good morning or congratulate her on her birthday. Now? He's asking for the unthinkable.

What do you say to the man who is used to getting everything he wants?

Home is where you are. I would go anywhere for you if you wanted me to be there.

For those of you thinking this is gonna be a review, please don't bother. This is just me confessing my obsessive, undying, unrelenting and unconditional love for Aiden 'The Wall of Winnipeg' Graves.

PS: It's also an eulogy for my recently dead ovaries.

PSS: I've officially decided to name this review, "Ode to my Imaginary Husband".

PSSS: I'm 229043289410942346% sure that this won't be my last re-read.

Oh Aiden,
I could write books (not really, but you get the gist, right?) about your eyes and the way you smile .
I could paint pictures (if I was artistic enough which I'm not) of your face and your smooth skin.
I could give a lecture on the way you looked at me and held me like fine china, in my dreams.
You are the peanut butter to my jelly (even though I hate jelly, but I'll bear it for you).
You are the burger to my fries, the syrup to my pancakes, bread to my butter and the cheese to my macaroni (damn, I'm hungry).
My life without you is like Facebook without friends, YouTube without videos and Google with no results.
When you smile, I melt.
You make my dopamine levels go all silly.
And I really wish I could copy and paste you in my bed.
I stupidly smile at my Kindle (which makes my family think I'm crazy but eh, what can I do?).
Stop being so sexy.
Stop with your cute bubble butt and perfect pair of thighs.
In Vanessa's words, "I wanted to bite them. I honestly wanted to bite them."

Honestly, I just want you to be happy.
And naked.
But mostly happy.
And when I saw you with a golden furry ball of sunshine in your arms...
...
Also in Vanessa's words, Ovaries, where were my ovaries?
#HaveMercyOnMyOvaries.

1.

I barely managed to raise the bag of popcorn to face level when I lost it, peeking at him when I wasn’t blinking away tears. The fact that Aiden’s ears turned red as he watched me crack up, said he knew what I was dying over.

“Don’t say a word,” he gritted.

“Did she grab a handful?” I choked out.

The look he gave me was a mix of ‘you’re an idiot’ and ‘fuck off,’ which only made me laugh harder. He’d gotten molested. By a fan. Right in front of me. That split second look of surprise on his face when he got fondled would probably stay with me for the rest of my life.

“Shut up, Vanessa.”

I was dying.

He usually just ignored me, but this was so much better.

“I’m not saying anything!” I wheezed from behind the bag of popcorn.

Aiden narrowed his eyes, waiting patiently.

“Are you done?” he asked after a few more seconds of me cracking up.

2.

“What are you supposed to be?”

Was he serious? I looked down at my costume, thinking I’d done a pretty good job putting it together three years ago when I’d last worn it to a friend’s party. The overalls, the yellow shirt, the one-eyed goggle pressing into my forehead. It was obvious.

“A minion.”

The Wall of Winnipeg blinked.

“What the hell is a minion?”

“A minion. Despicable Me.”

I blinked when he stayed silent. “Nothing?”

“Never seen it.”

Blasphemy.

3.

He picked up on what I was trying to hint at.

“Yes. Sex is complicated. People lie. I don’t have time for any of it.”

Holy. Shit. I watched his face. He wasn’t lying. Not even a little bit. That suddenly explained what the hell he did in his room for hours by himself. He masturbated. He masturbated all the time.

4.

“Everyone’s been scared of something. What about when you were a little kid?”

The silence went thoughtful just as thunder made the windows rattle. I subconsciously touched him right between the pecs with my fingertips.

“Clowns.”

Clowns?

“Really?”

I tried to imagine a tiny Aiden crying over men and women with overly painted faces and red noses, but I couldn’t. The big guy was still facing me. His expression clear and even, as he dipped his chin.

“Eh.” God help me, he’d gone Canadian on me.

5.

“How do you not know that you mean the world to me? I haven’t made it clear enough?”

“I don’t know,” I stuttered. “Do you love me?”

His gaze was so intent the entire world seemed to stop.

“You tell me. I never stop thinking about you. I worry about you all the time. Every beautiful thing I see reminds me of you. I can’t finish my practices in Colorado without wishing you were around,” he said in a steady tone. “You tell me what I feel.”

If you don't try TWOWAM at least once, then you're an idiot.